Satanists Made a Coloring Book for Public Schoolkids, and It's Not Bad

Just in time for Halloween, the Satanic Temple is pushing Orlando-area public schools to distribute a Beelzebub-oriented coloring book to the kiddies, who already get Bibles from a local megachurch and conservative lobby group. The crazy thing is, the Satanists have made a pretty decent coloring book. » 10/31/14 12:40pm Today 12:40pm

NRA's Leader Warns of "Sprees of Murder and Mayhem" as Elections Near

NRA frontman and "jackbooted thugs" scholar Wayne LaPierre has a new cover story out in an Election Day edition of the group's magazine, America's First Freedom. The gist: "Vote Your Guns In November," because so much danger is closing in on Obama's America you should be shitting yourself with fear. » 10/30/14 12:36pm Yesterday 12:36pm

GOP Rallies Florida Voters by Calling Campus Rape Culture a "Lie"

Florida Republicans organized a get-out-the-vote rally in Sarasota Tuesday night to help tip a tight governor's race in conservative Rick Scott's favor. First, the 700 ralliers heard from Bobby Jindal. Then, they applauded a right-wing radio host who called rape culture "nonsense" from "the feminist left." » 10/30/14 11:30am Yesterday 11:30am

Ferguson Preps for Michael Brown Decision by Buying Lots More Cop Gear

Sometime soon, a grand jury in St. Louis County, Missouri will decide whether or not to indict Ferguson police officer Darren Wilson for shooting and killing black teenager Michael Brown. Local officials are preparing for that moment by buying heaps of military-style riot gear. » 10/29/14 2:42pm Wednesday 2:42pm

Fox News Guy Calls for the U.S. to Commence Its Own Jihad

Do you jihad? You're American, right? You're probably a great jihader and you don't even know it. Fox News commenter Dr. Keith Ablow, "forensic psychiatrist and author of thrillers," wants you to unleash your patriotic jihad potential in accordance with his understanding of jihad, which he got from MerriamWebster.com. » 10/29/14 1:08pm Wednesday 1:08pm

Packers Fan Tries Repeatedly to Shoot Dog, Hits Jeep and House Instead

A Green Bay man with an AR-15 was arraigned on a felony charge in his Packers jersey after he tried to "defend his property" from a dog, missing it with eight close-range shots from the highly accurate rifle in broad daylight and instead peppering his neighbors' property with hot rounds. » 10/28/14 3:38pm Tuesday 3:38pm

Is Giovanni Ribisi's Family Quitting Scientology?

Scientology is like Saudi Arabia: a bizarrely cloistered theocracy with hundreds of celebrity royals who mention the faith in passing while flitting between gauche resorts and showing off crazy bling. But what does it mean when royals start ditching said bling in a trash heap on L.A.'s Wilshire Boulevard? » 10/28/14 2:40pm Tuesday 2:40pm

Christie Hopes Healthy Nurse He Quarantined Finds "Time to Reflect"

New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie, whose health officials held an Ebola-free nurse from Maine in quarantine against her will after she arrived from Africa on Friday, told media at a campaign stop in Florida that "when she has time to reflect, she'll understand" why she was deprived of her freedom in the Garden State. » 10/27/14 4:50pm Monday 4:50pm

Vets' PTSD Counseling Was Canceled for "Mental Illness Awareness Week"

A former Gitmo military policewoman who headed into her local VA clinic earlier this month for a regular appointment to cope with her PTSD learned that her and other vets' sessions been canceled, because the staff was attending an inspirational speech for Mental Illness Awareness Week. » 10/27/14 2:15pm Monday 2:15pm

Ebola Vaccine Finally Getting Tested Because Americans Freaked Out

There is an Ebola vaccine that is 100 percent effective on monkeys. It has sat on a shelf, untested and unavailable to humans, for nearly a decade, while thousands of Africans died of the virus, because drug research is expensive and who's gonna pay Big Pharma for all that risk? Dying Africans? It's market economics,… » 10/24/14 11:18am 10/24/14 11:18am

New Batshit Theory: Obama's Ebola Czar Wants to Kill Us All

Ron Klain, the White House's new "Ebola Czar," is not a doctor. But he is a Democratic staffer. Who once offered a soundbite on the problems of overpopulation in an interview with his college alumni office. Do I have to spell it out for you? Fine. But first, grab some provisions and head to the fallout shelter. » 10/23/14 12:00pm 10/23/14 12:00pm