The Day the Fan Stood Still: How the Scott-Crist Debate Explains Florida

Fangate, Fanghazi, @CCristFan. Whatever meme you choose today to braid into the long wild hair of Florida, Lady Liberty's abandoned enfant sauvage, it means the same thing: God detests this state and its people. » 10/16/14 12:44pm Thursday 12:44pm

South Carolina Governor Says CEOs Love the Confederate Flag

Last night, South Carolina's gubernatorial candidates debated how best to convince outsiders that South Carolina is not a backwards shithole. The libertarian—the libertarian!—agreed with the Democrat that ditching the Confederate flag would help. Nikki Haley disagreed, because FREE ENTERPRISE DISAGREES. » 10/15/14 3:13pm Wednesday 3:13pm

Maybe We're Just Not Bombing ISIS Indiscriminately Enough

It's been more than two months since America started dropping laser-guided freedom all over the Islamic State. But for some reason, the flowers of liberty aren't blooming in all those new holes we've dug in Iraq and Syria. Perhaps it's because we should bomb more shit, say two experts in talking about bombing shit. » 10/15/14 11:22am Wednesday 11:22am

NYT: U.S. Troops Got Untreated Illnesses From Iraqi Chemical Weapons

In bunkers now held by ISIS militants, and sometimes in streets emptied by bomb threats, scores of American service members secretly helped find and dispose of Saddam Hussein's aging chemical weapons. Now stateside, many troops are sick with mystery ailments the military has at times tried to conceal. » 10/14/14 10:12pm Tuesday 10:12pm

Abortions and Penis Fetishes: Is This the World's Worst Televangelist?

In the televangelism world, Ernest Angley used to be a big deal, up there with Oral Roberts and Jimmy Swaggart. But the 93-year-old's Grace Cathedral seems quaint and a little creepy now. A new investigation says that might have to do with Angley's weird encroachments into his flock's sexual and reproductive lives. » 10/14/14 12:34pm 10/14/14 12:34pm

GOP Rep. Says Congresswoman Will Lose For Being "Ugly as Sin"

Pictured above is New Hampshire state Rep. Steve Vaillancourt, who likes to watch elections (and tape them with his video camera?). If you will indulge him, he'll explain to you why an incumbent Democratic congresswoman will lose in an upcoming race: because her challenger is hot. » 10/13/14 5:53pm 10/13/14 5:53pm

The Billionaire Who Built the Glock Handgun Is a Filthy Sex Machine

Perhaps we didn't need a former VP of the U.S.'s biggest handgun manufacturer to tell us that the old coot running the company "spends money on mistresses, on houses, on sex, on cars. He bribes people. He's just a bad guy." Still, new court filings tell us how entertainingly horrible he and his family really are. » 10/13/14 12:27pm 10/13/14 12:27pm