Bowe Bergdahl Isn't Charged With Desertion, But He's Still Fucked

Bowe Bergdahl, the eccentric Army enlistee and final Afghanistan P.O.W. whose release from Taliban custody left detractors screaming for his corpse, may face desertion charges soon. Or maybe not. No one knows for certain just yet. But either way, these blogospheric anti-Bergdahl snuff-porn fantasies will be heard,… » 1/27/15 3:25pm Yesterday 3:25pm

How "The Left's Best Chance in a Generation" Won Greece Over: A Guide

While liberal and left-wing Americans stare distastefully and apprehensively at their pitiful choices for next year's presidential election, Greek voters are celebrating the victory of Syriza, the young, pragmatic, and popular left-wing party led by a young atheist ex-communist with a son named after Che Guevara. Let… » 1/26/15 3:35pm Monday 3:35pm

What the Hell Is Happening in Yemen, Explained

The Yemeni government just collapsed, its president prodded into resignation by an Iran-affiliated insurgent group. In the south, citizens are demanding an independent state. The U.S. is freaking out at the possibility of losing its drone-friendliest partner in the middle east. What the hell is going on? Let us… » 1/23/15 3:00pm Friday 3:00pm

Little Victories, Big Losses: How and Why American Sniper Fails

There is a point, about a third of the way through American Sniper's conventional narrative, where a different kind of war movie threatens to break out. SEAL sniper Chris Kyle is dropping Iraqi bodies left and right. He is protecting colleagues, but opening a wound on himself. It is not a glorious sacrifice. He seems… » 1/23/15 1:34pm Friday 1:34pm

A History of Military Braggadouches, From Sparta to Chris Kyle

Much of the recent media debate around American Sniper concerns the legacy of Chris Kyle, the SEAL in the title, who may be a hero, a cold-blooded killer, a loudmouthed liar, or all three. In fact, Kyle—the real man and the dramatic character—seems to be the latest in a long history of men I call military… » 1/21/15 2:50pm 1/21/15 2:50pm

Gun Nuts Simulate Paris Shooting, Get Shot By Simulated Terrorists

In an attempt to prove that good guys with guns could have altered the dynamics of last week's deadly Charlie Hebdo massacre in Paris, a Texas-based pro-gun group reenacted the shooting a dozen times with armed citizens and mostly discovered that armed citizens suck at stopping terrorists. » 1/15/15 1:32pm 1/15/15 1:32pm

Afghan Police Training Base Melts, Makes Good Metaphor for Afghan War

Investigators this week called the military to task for paying Afghan contractors half a million dollars to construct a training base "made mostly of sand" that melted in the rain four months later, calling the now-demolished project "not only an embarrassment, but, more significantly, a waste of U.S. taxpayers'… » 1/15/15 11:02am 1/15/15 11:02am

The NRA Doctored This Stock Photo to Look Like a Diverse Pro-Gun Rally

Whoa whoa whoa. What the heck is up with that weird sunspot in the middle of the shot? Don't you have a clear image from this heart-warming, woman-dominated gun-rights demonstration, National Rifle Association? Oh. Oh... » 1/14/15 3:25pm 1/14/15 3:25pm

The Department of Homeland Security Is Still Stupid and Pointless

Congressional Republicans, who 13 long years ago helped create a dumb massive federal "homeland security" bureaucracy, vowed this week that they'll keep it operating only if Barack Obama takes a harder line on immigrants to America. There's a simple solution here: Keep immigration open, and let the bureaucracy wither. » 1/14/15 2:48pm 1/14/15 2:48pm

"ISIS" Hacking the Military Is Embarrassing But Not Worth a Freakout

There are two sure-fire ways to get yourself immediate mainstream media attention: Allude to terrorism, and do it on Twitter. Someone purporting to represent the dread Islamic State did both Monday, proving the U.S. military's public affairs business is a trainwreck but accomplishing little else. » 1/12/15 4:34pm 1/12/15 4:34pm

Ollie North's Nonprofit Honors War Heroes By Letting Them Murder Doves

Freedom Alliance is dedicated to freedom. Which means it's dedicated to our amazing combat veterans. Which means it invites those veterans, especially the ones spooked by "loud noises and crowds," to hunt doves, the universal symbol of peace and spirituality, and shoot dozens of the delicate winged creatures to death. » 1/05/15 3:36pm 1/05/15 3:36pm

Boehner Faces Challenge From Tea Party Weirdos, and Also Louie Gohmert

Jerky-flavored swizzle stick John Boehner, the face of the GOP House majority for the past four years, faces a stiff challenge to retain his speaker's post from a delicious cornucopia of conservatives who are fed up with the Ohio Republican's Obama-coddling multiculti socialist leadership. » 1/05/15 12:25pm 1/05/15 12:25pm

Lawsuit: Prince Andrew Had Teen Sex-Slave Provided by a Florida Banker

Prince Andrew, Duke of York, second oldest son of the queen of Great Britain, has been accused of repeatedly sleeping with an underage sex-slave provided by a Florida-based investment banker and convicted sex offender, and representatives of the English crown are scurrying to respond to the allegations. » 1/02/15 12:18pm 1/02/15 12:18pm

Conservatives Seize on Racist's Bullshit Story to Defend Congressman

Slate was itching to issue a Slatey take on this week's news that Republicans' House majority whip spoke at a white supremacists' hootenanny in 2002. So the site published a contrarian account, quickly praised by right wing pundits, based on the rantings of one local man who concealed his ties to the racist group. » 1/02/15 11:37am 1/02/15 11:37am

David Duke Claims to Have Met With Other Pols, Threatens to Name Names

David Duke—former KKK top dawg, ex-Republican legislator, and poster boy for the modern American white power movement—told Fusion in an interview yesterday that sure, he knows the now-embattled GOP House whip, and hey, he rubs elbows with lots of pols, left and right, and he'll name names. » 12/30/14 12:15pm 12/30/14 12:15pm

2014: The Year in Dumb Conservative Memes

Since the time of Archimedes, human history has acknowledged six simple machines, basic tools designed to advance our lots. But in 2014, no tool proved simpler and more efficient in the production of sublimation, denial and self-sustaining garbage than our conservative media. Here were its highest achievements. » 12/30/14 9:10am 12/30/14 9:10am

Hero Soldiers Forced to Move Their Wedding So Obama Could Play Golf

We live in a world with walls. And those walls have to be guarded. Who's gonna do it? You, Barracks Hussain Obummer? Of course not. You can't even extend the slightest of courtesies to America's Guardians™ when their love stands, like a wall, between you and your dumb 16th-hole sextuple-bogey play-through. » 12/29/14 12:10pm 12/29/14 12:10pm

Woman in Body Armor Leads Police on Car Chase After Shooting Spree

In another case of justice for violent lawless thugs, a deviant evildoer was gunned down by pol— oh wait it was a white lady and she was taken into custody bloodlessly after driving around Chattanooga, Tennessee, clad in body armor, shooting at innocent people and pointing her loaded gun at cops. » 12/29/14 11:05am 12/29/14 11:05am